Please make Mariah Carey stop

We at Working Title Complaint Column are big fans of the Christmas season and all the traditions that come along with it. However, some traditions can be a bit overwhelming. One tradition, or song rather, is heard constantly in the months of November and December everywhere we go. It is a great song, but hearing Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” has gotten old a little early this year. 

The 1994 song off of Carey’s album Joy to the World, from the label Columbia, is still running popular as a hit through these months. We are not exaggerating when we say that this song is the most overplayed song ever.

Christmas time is like a football field, and “All I Want for Christmas Is You” you is  “Darude Sandstorm.” 

No matter where you go you cannot escape this song. It’s playing in the deep wilderness of the Amazon, the peaks of the Himalayas, the shady parking lot next to Denny’s, in your house, in every country (except North Korea since they have a modified version titled “All I Want for Christmas is Un”), and even in the stars. 

Mariah Carey has grown too strong, and we can no longer defeat her unless we act now. If we don’t stop her soon, “All I Want for Christmas is You” will be the only song left in existence. 

Please do your part to save our planet and help us defeat Mariah Carey.